Category: Stories
“I threw a Gin and Jammies party at home because myself and a colleague both have cancer and wanted to have fun with our girlfriends whilst raising money for a worthy cause.”
“I first saw the advert for Gin and Jammies on Facebook and it seemed like the perfect excuse to get the girls round and have some fun for charity. I chatted to my oldest friend, Ellie May, and we managed to gather 15 people to attend. 
“We played Jenga, table top curling and pass the parcel. There was laughter and chat, as well as gin and prosecco! It was a much-needed catch-up and gave me a reason to forget about my cancer.
“I was diagnosed with melanoma skin cancer in June 2011. After surgery and five years of follow-on checks, I was then discharged. Last June, eight years after I discovered my skin cancer, I found a lump in my groin. I was absolutely devastated. I had surgery in the August to remove ten lymph nodes, but the surgery wasn’t a success. A PET scan showed melanoma in more nodes which cannot be operated on, so my cancer is now stage four and I am on palliative immunotherapy treatment.
“Since discovering I have cancer, my outlook on life is totally different. I take more time out to relax but still continue to work and get together with friends as much as possible. My husband died seven years ago but I have been very lucky to meet my new partner, Rob. We go on holiday together and socialise with friends.
“My work colleague, Josie Johnson, also has cancer and we are supporting each other through such a difficult time. It’s eye opening when you realise just how many people are affected by cancer in one way or another.
“I have a three-year-old grandson who is my world. He is why I fight so hard against my cancer. 
“My cancer is now terminal, but I am hoping the immunotherapy will give me a few extra years to live. I feel glad to know that the £250 raised by my Gin and Jammies party will help support people across Lincolnshire in a similar position to me. St Barnabas does such an incredible job supporting the people of Lincolnshire and you really don’t know if you or a loved one will ever need their services. When the time comes, I will call upon St Barnabas to support my family and I through my last few weeks.
“There is still time to hold your own Gin and Jammies party to help raise much needed funds. Simply visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/ginandjammies to download your free information pack full of tips and ideas.”
Karen Powell – St Barnabas supporter
“When my dad passed away, I thought that getting a Lottery number would be a way of remembering him.”
Trevor Farmer sadly died in 2007 after living with emphysema, a form of chronic lung disease, for several years. His wife, Pauline Farmer, dedicated her life to become his full-time carer but then fell ill herself in 2003 so went into hospital for tests. She had terminal cancer which had spread. She never came home from hospital.
Elaine Jackson, daughter of Trevor and 2007, said, “Dad was completely devastated and along with everything else, depression was added into the mix. Generally, Dad was a very chatty, funny man who loved to share a joke and never moaned, no matter how poorly he was. After Mum’s death though, it was so difficult to lift his spirits. 
“It was his GP who told us about the St Barnabas Day Therapy Centre on Hawthorn Road in Lincoln and I managed to convince him to go there.
“After only a few weeks he was looking better and beginning to enjoy his time there. He was very proud of some of the things he made and painted, he made friends and he had some lovely meals.
“In turn, he asked me to buy raffle tickets, he joined the St Barnabas Lottery and we bought items for raffles. Anything to try to say thank you for all the care they showed him on his visits.
“When dad passed away, I thought that getting a Lottery number would be a way of remembering him. He would be pleased I still help the Hospice in some way.
“The work the Hospice does is simply wonderful, whether it be the nursing care in the Hospice or the staff who work in the Day Therapy buildings. Both my dad and I were so well supported, and it was a relief to know how well he was looked after. The Hospice lifted his spirits and gave him a purpose once more.
“I only wish we had known about Mum’s diagnosis sooner, so she could have experienced the same level of care in her last few days or weeks.”
“We believed that even though Mum was dying, we were going to celebrate her life every step of the way.”
Our Winter Raffle is back with £4,000 in prizes up for grabs. It’s a great opportunity to support the Hospice whilst being in with a chance of winning!
Allison’s mum was cared for by our Hospice and she wanted to share how money raised from previous raffles has helped her mum die at home surrounded by family.
Allison said, “I can’t say thank you enough to those people who buy raffle tickets. Because of you, my mum had everything she wanted when she died. 
“My family and I decided to become Mum’s ‘cheering squad’. We bought pom poms to encourage her and raise her spirits. We believed that even though Mum was dying, we were going to celebrate her life every step of the way.
“Mum had always said she wanted to die at home, so we agreed to do everything possible to grant her this wish. We couldn’t have done it without the incredible Hospice at Home team from St Barnabas.
“The St Barnabas nurses made sure we weren’t alone in caring for her and ensured that both she and us had what we needed to care for her at home. They were angels.
“I spent four years working in retail for St Barnabas until I moved to Essex. The care Mum received is the sole reason I chose to work for such an incredible Hospice. I wanted to give back to ensure that others can continue to access an incredible service.”
Raffle tickets can be ordered from www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/winteraffle20 or purchased over the phone by calling 01522 546 500. The Raffle closes on Monday 30th March.
“I was astounded when I found out I had won the Lottery after Trevor died. I joined to give something back to the people who had done so much for Trevor and the family, but it was a lovely feeling to win.”
Janet Wilson joined the St Barnabas Hospice Lottery in September 2016 when her husband, Trevor, was being cared for by the Hospice after being diagnosed with prostate cancer age 56. She was astounded to hear that she had won £1,000 in June 2019, after only playing for less than three years.
Janet said, “I chose to support the Lottery because St Barnabas were so kind to my husband and family at a very difficult time. Trevor was such a lovely person. He was kind, caring, and a super husband and dad. Initially, he visited the Day Therapy Centre in Lincoln where he had relaxation sessions to help with his sleep. When he became too ill to leave the house, the St Barnabas Hospice at Home team came out to him and helped with his daily care. When he could no longer be cared for at home, Trevor was admitted to the Inpatient Unit, where he spent his last two weeks.”
Trevor sadly died, age 59, on Tuesday 30th May 2017.
Janet said, “The Friday before he died was a warm and sunny day. I was with my husband at the Hospice and the nurses opened the patio doors and wheeled Trevor’s bed out onto the patio. They even brought him an ice cream. I’m so thankful that we were able to enjoy this time together in the fresh air one last time, just like before he fell ill. We used to enjoy walking our dogs together and Trevor’s great love was fishing. St Barnabas even allowed the dogs, Arthur and Alfred, to come and visit him in the Hospice, which meant so much to him.
“The care Trevor received from St Barnabas was exemplary and the staff were always so caring and cheerful. In his final weeks, it was such a comfort that we weren’t restricted to visiting numbers and times, which meant he was often surrounded by people that cared for him and loved him.
“I was astounded when I found out I had won the Lottery after Trevor died. I joined to give something back to the people who had done so much for Trevor and the family, but it was a lovely feeling to win. I decided to split the winnings between my two children, which meant my son, Joe, was able to go on a camping holiday in the Lake District with his girlfriend, and my daughter and I had a shopping trip in Leeds.
“I will always support the Lottery and St Barnabas and would encourage more people to join me. It’s a fantastic way to donate to such a worthy cause and you never know, you might win like I did!”
The St Barnabas weekly Lottery costs just £1 per week to enter, with the chance of winning prizes up to £7,000. To find out more or sign up, visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/lottery.
“The St Barnabas team made sure our house still felt like a home, even though he was so poorly.”
Stevie French and her mum, Nikki, have said a huge thank you to St Barnabas Hospice for the care and support they gave the whole family when Stevie’s dad, Andy, was diagnosed with sporadic Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD) in May 2017. CJD is a rare terminal condition which causes brain damage that worsens rapidly over time.
Stevie said, “Dad’s condition deteriorated very quickly, and he died on 21st July 2017. We had a few different carers visit the house, but our favourites by far were the St Barnabas Hospice at Home team. They helped every morning with getting Dad up and ready for the day. I found it so difficult to do the hands-on care as it was hard to see him this way. It was really comforting to know that St Barnabas were there to support us through the tough parts. 
“Dad was very social and loved being out and about doing things, so I know he wouldn’t have liked relying on other people for his care. The St Barnabas nurses were incredible as they made it feel like Dad needing help to change his clothes wasn’t that big a deal, so he could keep some dignity. They were so easy to talk to and fit straight in with our family.
“It was difficult to watch him becoming so vulnerable and having to rely on other people for support, but I gained a lot of comfort from St Barnabas looking after our family and helping as much as they did. During such a troubling time, this comfort was worth its weight in gold.”
Nikki added, “The respect that St Barnabas showed Andy was lovely and they made sure our house still felt like a home, even though he was so poorly. Their support meant more than can be said and I will be forever grateful to St Barnabas for helping us through such a difficult time.”
Last year, St Barnabas cared for 1,949 people in their own home. This is where they feel safe and comfortable and can spend precious time with their loved ones. The care St Barnabas provides is completely free of charge and they wouldn’t be able to provide this care without the generosity and kindness of their supporters. It costs the Hospice £136.67 to pay for a Hospice at Home nurse to visit a patient in their own home. If you can spare any money to help keep this free service going, please visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/donate.
“It was heart-breaking to lose two of the most important people in my life so close together”
David Bull and Raymond Wells were best friends since childhood, but they sadly died in 2018 and 2019 after being diagnosed with terminal illnesses. Marie, David’s daughter, has spoken out about the incredible care St Barnabas delivered to both her dad and to Ray.
Marie said, “Dad and Uncle Ray were the most amazing male role models anyone could have. They loved to go fishing together and Uncle Ray would always spend Christmas with us as one big, happy family. Dad was the cleverest man I know and could turn his hand to anything. He loved woodwork and was a fantastic mechanic. Uncle Ray was like a grandad to me. He had a heart of gold and was so selfless, he would give you his last penny if you needed it.”
David was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2016 and Ray was diagnosed with vascular dementia around six years ago. They both received Hospice at Home care from the St Barnabas nurses based in Louth for the few weeks before they died.
Marie said, “Dad died in January 2018 and then Uncle Ray died the year after in June. Dad was only 71, and Uncle Ray was 85. It was heart-breaking to lose two of the most important people in my life so close together, but St Barnabas were there on both occasions to make their passing as peaceful as possible.
“The St Barnabas nurses are absolutely amazing, they are angels on earth. I am forever grateful that Dad had a peaceful death with no pain, and that Uncle Ray was so well looked after too. As a family, we feel forever indebted to the Hospice for how they have helped our loved ones.
“I have chosen to give something back to show my appreciation to the amazing staff and volunteers who work at St Barnabas. My first fundraising event was held at my business, Shampoodles Grooming Salon, where we raised almost £300. I feel so proud knowing that money is going to help more families like ours and want to continue supporting the Hospice long into the future.”
“The St Barnabas nurses gave Helen the confidence in her ability to be able to go to Disneyland when she was so poorly.”
Helen Lofts was an outgoing, cheerful, courageous and kind young woman who sadly died, age 31, on 2nd January 2019 after being diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma in March 2018.
It was Helen’s dream to visit Disneyland once more, which was the place her husband had proposed to her. She was completely mad for anything Disney related. Jane Lofts, Helen’s mum, has chosen to share some of Helen’s story with us.
Jane said, “Helen was visited weekly by the St Barnabas Hospice at Home nurses, who were just so lovely. A physio also came out to see her and was able to sort her out with equipment, even when plans changed slightly after she got married.
“I can’t thank the physio enough for what she did for Helen. There was one point where Helen was just so desperate for a bath and the physio arranged for her to get to the St Barnabas Inpatient Unit and have a nice bath there. I can remember how happy this made Helen, and I’m so grateful that St Barnabas was able to help her in this way.”
Helen and her husband, Chris, got married in May 2018, but had to put their honeymoon on hold whilst she was undergoing chemotherapy. Once they learned the cancer was incurable, a friend decided to start a crowdfunder to raise enough money to send their family to Disneyland one last time. This raised an incredible £6,020.
Jane said, “The St Barnabas nurses gave Helen the confidence in her ability to be able to go to Disneyland when she was so poorly. Helen refused to let her cancer stop her living life to the full and she had the most amazing time on her last holiday. She was able to go on a few rides and got loads of pictures, including with Ariel, her favourite princess and Peter Pan, which is her favourite film. 
“She got back from the holiday on Christmas Eve and started feeling a lot more tired, to the point where she spent a few days just sleeping. A week later, she had a seizure and then died a few days after that.
“It’s every parent’s worst nightmare to lose a child, but I’m holding on to such special memories of Helen. She was always the life and soul of the party and so much fun to be around. We asked people to come to her funeral dressed in Disney clothes, which I know she’d have loved.”
When Helen was alive, she decided to blog her experiences of cancer to raise more awareness. In one of her posts, Helen wrote, “St Barnabas has become very involved with me. It makes me grateful for all the charity work I’ve done for them in the past, even though I never did it thinking that one day it would be me they were helping.”
Jane said, “On behalf of our family, I’d like to say a huge thank you to St Barnabas. They played a huge part in helping Helen to make the most out of the life she had left, and I’ll never forget how they supported her to achieve her final wish before she died.”
“St Barnabas arranged for my best friend to see her horse and dogs once last time before she died.”
A group of Lincoln ladies are taking part in this year’s Moonlight Walk Stamford on Saturday 14th September in memory of their best friend, Alison Shipley.
The ladies, Claire Shephard, Viv Whitehead, Linda Beat, Sue Toon, Jo Ely, and Ellen Chapman, are hoping to raise over £1,500 in memory of Alison who sadly died in the St Barnabas Inpatient Unit in July 2019. Alison was diagnosed with terminal advanced aggressive ovarian cancer.
Claire said, “Alison was an amazing friend and auntie to my two boys. The nurses at St Barnabas got to know her and understood how important her animals were to her. They arranged for Alison to see her horse and dogs one last time. At this stage, Alison was very poorly, but she was so strongly driven towards seeing her animals that she made it happen. One of the nurses, Annie Penrice, had worked for many years on a ranch in Texas, so she knew how important the bond is between and horse and their owner.”
Annie added, “Alison absolutely lit up when she saw her horse. As soon as the horse recognised her, it dropped its head and started nuzzling her. It was a very inspiring but emotional visit for us all.”
Claire said, “The trip really meant the world to Alison and her close family and friends. It was emotional, but it gave her one last chance to cuddle and love her horse and dogs one last time. The trip was on a Wednesday, and Alison died peacefully the following Sunday.
“I will always be truly grateful to St Barnabas for arranging this for us as it helped Alison so much towards the end. This is why we have chosen to take part in the Moonlight Walk Stamford. We want to give a little something back to the Hospice who did so much for us.
“I’m hoping to bring Alison’s dog, Choco, with me to take part in the Moonlight Walk. It’s going to be an emotional night, but we will share memories of Alison as we walk the route. I’m sure she will be smiling down at us all.”
You can still sign up for this year’s Moonlight Walk Stamford until Sunday 8th September. Tickets are available from www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/moonlight-walk-stamford-2019 at £20 for adults and £10 for children age 11+.
“I feel very humbled and privileged to be able to talk to people and share their stories to help them find some peace.”
Tracy Tuffs has worked in the St Barnabas Hospice Wellbeing team since 2015 and has worked her way up from Family Support Services Administrator to Counselling Service Team Lead.
As it is #GriefAwarenessDay, Tracy has decided to share an insight into how she supports patients and their families at one of the most difficult times of their lives, as well as how she had to turn to St Barnabas for support herself after her dad sadly died in the care of the Hospice.
Tracy said, “In my role, I support 35 volunteer counsellors and 12 supportive listeners, without whom we would be unable to provide this service to people in the community. We are also starting to develop a service to deliver bereavement support to children and young people, which I’m really excited about.
“My world was rocked in 2016 when my dad was diagnosed with cancer age 65. It was such a shock as he still had so much he wanted to achieve in his life. When I initially suggested him coming to the Hospice, he was scared that it would mean admitting that there was no future. However, he did use the Hospice services for two years and said it was the best decision he made. It enabled us all to prepare and live life to the fullest for the time he had left. We made some lovely memories which will stay with me always. The support I received from my colleagues at St Barnabas was amazing as they look after people in my situation all the time.
“I love everything about my job and feel very humbled and privileged to be able to talk to people and share their stories to help them find some peace. Working for St Barnabas is more than a job. It’s a vocation and a passion, and everyone is so welcoming and friendly. I have some very good friends and have been fortunate enough to have been encouraged to grow and develop as a person and within my career.”
St Barnabas provides bereavement support to anyone, whether their loved one has been cared for by our Hospice or not. People can access bereavement and counselling services at all stages of a diagnosis, either through individual or group support. To find out about the support on offer, visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/bereavement or call 0300 020 0694.
“Four days out of my life doing this ride is little in comparison to the fantastic work people do each and every day at St Barnabas.”
Debbie Wren has signed up to the 280-mile Euro City Cycle Challenge in support of St Barnabas Hospice after her mum sadly died of a stem stroke and heart failure in our Grantham Hospice in the Hospital, age 87.
Debbie said, “My mum, Celia Mabel Moss, was an amazing woman who accomplished so much in her life. She will always be my guiding light and my inspiration. Her first love was gardening, nature and wildlife – a passion that never went until the day she died. Because Mum was in the Hospice in Spring, I was able to bring her bunches of daffodils from the garden which I know she loved. 
“When Mum had her stroke, she was only able to communicate by blinking her right eye. The nurses just knew how to look after someone who was unable to talk, swallow or move, and I didn’t have to worry that she was left on her own in distress. They made sure she was clean and comfortable at all times and chatted to her like a human being.
“The care you provided to allow Mum to die with comfort, care and dignity was second to none. I personally could not have faced this on my own and I really am so full of admiration for both the nurses who provided the care and for St Barnabas as a whole, for offering the service to everyone in need. Although it has been two years since Mum died, I still struggle each day with an incredible sense of loss. It simply has not got any easier. I will never forget the care you provided.
“Mum was always known for her generous and kind nature, so I know she’d approve of my fundraising for the Hospice. I have a real desire to support a charity that is there for anyone who may need their help. Four days out of my life doing this ride is little in comparison to the fantastic work people do each and every day at St Barnabas. 
“The Euro City Cycle Challenge will see me cycle 280 miles across three countries. I work for the Royal Bank of Scotland, who have kindly matched £250 of my fundraising, as well as allowing me to take volunteering leave to complete the ride. So far, I have raised £1,800 and I can’t wait to do more fundraising for St Barnabas in the future.
“I know I will never forget the way that the Hospice looked after my mum. This challenge is for everyone at St Barnabas.”
St Barnabas Hospice is currently looking for people to take part in their Yorkshire Three Peaks challenge. If you’re inspired by Debbie’s story, why not sign up and do something amazing to raise money for end-of-life care in Lincolnshire. To view more information and sign up, visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/yorkshire-three-peaks.