Category: Stories
St Barnabas patient is gifted Bell Tent Sleepover experience
Amanda Garrett from Grantham, 46, and her friends were treated to a gifted Bell Tent Sleepover Experience by local businesswoman Lisa Westwick. She was inspired by a social media post by BowelBabe, Dame Deborah James, who enjoyed a similar experience before her death on 28th June.
Lisa reached out to St Barnabas and asked if she could offer one of our patients this exciting experience. Her company, Lisa’zzz Sleep Retreat, offers sleepover experiences and wanted to do something similar for a St Barnabas patient going through a tough time.
Amanda said “I couldn’t believe it when I received the call to say Lisa would like to offer the experience to me! I was having a rough, emotional week suffering with pain, but this opportunity has really lifted my spirits and I can’t wait to have chilled night in with my girlfriends.”
The gifted Bell Tent Sleepover Experience took place on Saturday 9th July, and Amanda, along with four friends, had a great time.
Amanda says: ““I had an absolutely fantastic night! Great friends, good food and a perfect setting. The Bell Tent was such an amazing gift and the memories I made with my friends are priceless.
“Thank you to St Barnabas and Lisa for giving me this wonderful experience.”
Amanda was diagnosed in May 2020 with primary breast cancer and given the all clear in May 2021. However, just a few months later in September 2021 she was diagnosed with secondary stage 4 breast cancer which had spread to her liver, lungs, spine and pelvis.
Amanda describes understandably feeling ‘devastated and very angry’ after the diagnosis and reached out to St Barnabas Hospice straight away for support after a Macmillan specialist nurse explained what St Barnabas could offer Amanda.
Amanda is 46 with two children, and Chloe, our Welfare and Benefits team lead, was able to guide Amanda through what financial support she was entitled to and helped claim her disability badge to make trips out more comfortable and stress free for Amanda and her family.
“I’ve used the relaxation classes and counselling services at St Barnabas in Grantham. They’ve been amazing. I am feeling “reasonably well” now, but my life is full of appointments, so I want to cut them back and have some more normal days. However, I know these free services are there waiting for me when I need them in the future and that is comfort.
“I can honestly say St Barnabas have been amazing, they have helped me so much. There is always someone at the end of the phone, and they just have advice and a listening ear. Chloe even came to my house, sat down with me and went through the forms, applications and supported me. I really feel like I’ve got someone on my side helping me live better.”
If you or someone you know is affected by a life-limiting or terminal illness and need help with finding out financial support that may be available, take a look at our Welfare and Benefits services on our website here.
Below: Amanda and her sons
Jean’s Care for a Cuppa fundraiser
Best friends Jean and Marion are hosting a Care for a Cuppa in support of St Barnabas Hospice, who they have both supported significantly with fundraising since the death of their respective husbands 10 years ago.
Jean and Keith Bray were six weeks short of their 45th wedding anniversary when Keith died after a yearlong battle with lung cancer.
Jean says: “Keith had a number of trial drugs, but nothing was helping. After a family meeting with our children, Keith decided that it was time to stop the trials and make the most of the time he had left.
“The Hospice at Home nurses would visit us to make sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed. I always thought he would want to be at home when the time came, but when we got to the Hospice when Keith needed more care, we felt this overwhelming sense of being safe.”
Jean and Keith have two children, Donna and Carl, who gave them eight grandchildren (four boys and four girls). With a big family, all wanting to support their parents and grandparents, the Hospice was able to offer them space to say their goodbyes.
Jean continues: “Some of my children don’t live close by, so being able to stay over in the family rooms made everything easier. We all felt looked after, it wasn’t just about Keith. It felt like they were caring for us all.”
“When Keith was on the ward, I kept seeing Marion with her husband, Den who was poorly too. We never really spoke, but just smiled knowing what each other was going through.”
Keith died peacefully with Jean and family by his side. In the weeks after his death, St Barnabas nurses would reach out to Jean to join a bereavement support group, hosted nearby.
Jean remembers initially feeling too upset and not wanting to attend, but after a little encouragement joined the session.
“I looked around the room and was a lot younger than the others. I felt angry because I didn’t feel old enough to have lost my husband. Then, I spotted Marion. From that point we started talking and supporting each other. It’s been 10 years now and she is my best friend.
“Marion and I have done a lot to support St Barnabas over the years, and this next coffee morning will mark 10 years since Keith and Den died. We wanted to do something to say thank you again to the Hospice and the people who helped them.
Jean and Marion will be hosting a Care for a Cuppa in Jean’s garden, one of Keith’s favourite spaces.
“Keith was a keen gardener and loved his allotment. I hope the weather is nice and our friends and family can enjoy the day in the garden – Keith would have liked that.”
To find out more about Care for a Cuppa or to get started on hosting your own, click here.
“Nanny always looked after everyone so well. We all loved her. I miss her so much. Thank you to the nurses at St Barnabas for caring for my Nanny.”
Luca, age 8 will be running in memory of his Nanny, Karen at the Colour Dash and has raised an incredible £350 using his Facebook Fundraiser. We have spoken to Luca to learn a little more about his Nanny and to his mum Lydia, Karen’s stepdaughter about the support the family received from St Barnabas.
“Nanny always looked after everyone so well. We all loved her so much. We used to walk into Lincoln, over the blue bridge. I always wanted to wait for the trains, and she’d let me. I miss her so much. Thank you to the nurses at St Barnabas for caring for my Nanny.”
Lydia, Luca’s mum and Karen’s stepdaughter explains why St Barnabas means so much to the family.
“Karen was my step mum, and me and my siblings felt so blessed to have her in our lives. She loved us, and my mum, her wife Ashley immensely. She had a wicked sense of humour and absolutely adored her grandchildren. They gave her so much joy, especially when they reached toddler age and started to get into things and started to express their personalities. Karen loved to travel and had been many places and had a huge love of animals. A keen tennis fan, she loved Wimbledon and didn’t miss it for 20 years. Karen worked as a nurse for the NHS for over 30 years and loved her job.
We were so blessed to have Karen in our lives and love us all the way she did. She was the best sounding board and have the best advice.
We miss her every day.
Karen was 63 when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It was a real blow to us all, but she vowed to fight it all the way and that’s exactly what she did.
Karen had a very rare form of ovarian cancer and it was exceptionally aggressive. But she underwent treatment she was told she couldn’t have because it wouldn’t work, but it did! Her prognosis was six months, but she stayed with us for two and a half years. She gave it everything she had. She was strong and we drew from her strength. She was a warrior and we fought hard with her. Now that she has gone, there is a huge void in our lives.
Karen wished to remain at home until she passed away and St Barnabas were key in making sure that this time at home was as comfortable as possible and that she maintained her dignity. They were so caring, thoughtful, kind and considerate and not just to Karen, the care extended to us too.
They were excellent after Karen had died, making sure my Mum, Ashley had access to counselling and support.”
If you would like to set up your own Facebook Fundraiser, to raise your sponsorship for the Colour Dash – it can be done in minutes.
Julie Fisher, takes on the Toubkal Trek in memory of her husband Chris Swift aka ‘Swifty’
Julie Fisher is about to embark on a life changing challenge as she will join other daredevils who are going to Trek Toubkal, North Africa’s tallest mountain, all in support of St Barnabas Hospice. Julie is doing the challenge in memory of her husband, Chris Swift
“Chris ran his own company Swift Renovations, he was a retained fire fighter for Wragby Station. He loved the outdoors, we went walking as a family, his favourite place was a tarn in The Lake District called Small Water. We scattered his ashes there.”
“Chris and I met at school when we were taking part in the Duke of Edinburgh Award, we were presented our gold awards by the Duke of Edinburgh together too.
“Chris had a thirst for life and fun with a witty humour and enjoyed playing pranks on people, always with a smile on his face. He had a very special quality of being able to inspire people and always had a word of wisdom for anyone he spoke to. He was a honest, genuine and straight talking guy who had a big impact on all the people who knew him. His two boys, Jacob and Reuben meant the world to him.
“Chris was first diagnosis in January 2001 with Malignant Melanoma and had to have his ear removed. Jacob and Reuben were only 7 and 5. We thought it had been caught but it had been laying dormant for 9 years and in January 2010 it returned, at this point we were told it was terminal.
“The hardest thing was to tell Jacob and Reuben that their dad hadn’t got long to live. We wanted to involve them and let them know we needed to make the most of what time we had left with him. Chris was determined to fight the cancer, for as long as could as he so wanted to watch Jacob and Reuben grow up. He made the decision to have Chemotherapy and had to travel to Leicester every three weeks, for four days of treatment. It was tough going, but he never gave in. The cancer spread to his femur, which he had pinned, then his lungs and finally his brain which was devastating as he was unable to communicate with us.”
Chris lost his battle on 30th July 2010. He was just 45.
“Chris’s wish was to be cared for at home, so he could spend as much time with his family and he didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. I did manage to take care of him at home at first, but found it very difficult once the cancer spread to his brain. At this point the St Barnabas nurses came into our home daily and overnight to help me with his care and to give us support. I remember how kind, caring and patient they were with Chris, and the support they gave me was incredible. I really would not have managed without them and Chris would have had to go into hospital/care which he didn’t want.
“Because Chris was at home it was so much better for Jacob and Reuben as they were able to pop in and out of his room day or night to see him without having to travel to Lincoln. If Chris had not been at home the three of us would not have been with him when he died which would have been even more devastating.
“I asked Jacob and Reuben if they’d do this fundraising challenge with me. I thought it would be an excellent way to mark 10 years since Chris died (now 12 because of Covid), because he would have loved to have done this Trek.
“Because the boys were so young when their dad died, I think it’s very important that we do different events together in his memory. We want to keep supporting St Barnabas Hospice so they can continue to give others the excellent care they gave us.”
Whenever we had a rough time St Barnabas supported us, not just Grandad. They never claimed to ‘understand’ either, just understood we felt how we did. Most of all, they continued to make him smile.
“Terrible Two and the parents” take on The Colour Dash as perfect family event in memory of Great Grandad, Richard. Parent’s Sophie and Luke are running the Colour Dash, with children Millie, age 6 and Olivia, age 5 leading the way! 
Mum, Sophie explains “My family were supported by St Barnabas when my Grandad died, and its always stayed with me how well they cared for him in his last weeks” Sophie has such fond memories of her Grandad, Richard before he died.
“My Grandad was amazing, kind and caring. He loved a good joke, and watched Neighbours every afternoon without fail! He was proud of his garden and it was always full of flowers. He even used to let me peg flowers to his hair, as a crown! His smile would light up any room and his hugs were the best.
“My favourite and lasting memory of him is from the day before he died. His dying wish was to be at home in his final days, and St Barnabas supported us to make that happen. The nurses arrived and were with him, and I followed in a few moments later. He was laughing and looked at me, he was holding the hand of the lady and said ‘here’s the apple of my eye’. That was the last time I saw him smile, and the day I said goodbye.
“Being so young, I don’t remember all the finer details, but there was always a warm reception of the nurses. Whenever we had a rough time they supported us, not just Grandad. They never claimed to ‘understand’ either, just understood we felt how we did. Most of all, they continued to make him smile.
“When Millie and Olivia wanted to do something for a good cause, I couldn’t think of a better event or charity to support.”
Join Millie and Olivia at the Colour Dash (Early Bird discount ending 8th April)
Take part in the Colour Dash in support of St Barnabas (stbarnabashospice.co.uk)
Support Millie and Olivia here
Terrible 2 and the Parents fundraising for St Barnabas Hospice Trust (Lincolnshire) on JustGiving
‘They Would Both Be Proud’ – Ebonie Runs St Barnabas Colour Dash In Memory of Nana
Ebonie Barker from Skegness, is taking part in the Colour Dash event, being held at the Lincolnshire Showground on Saturday 14th May to thank the Hospice for caring for her Nana in 2018.
Ebonie says: “Due to the incredible work they provide day in and day out for their patients, I wanted to run the Colour Dash this year for St Barnabas. The Hospice took such wonderful care of my lovely Nana, Grace Barker, and I always feel honoured to take part in these events to try and give something back.
“I am also taking part in the Colour Dash to also remember my beautiful Grandad, Brian Holdsworth. I know they would both be proud to see me taking part in such fantastic events to help raise money for people who need it the most.”
The Colour Dash event is back for a sixth year and promises to be bigger and better than ever before. This year, St Barnabas Hospice celebrates its 40th birthday. To honour the occasion, the Hospice has brought back the popular event with more paint powder than ever before and a goal of raising £150,000 for patient care.
Ebonie is hoping to raise more than £400 in total, with an initial target of £200 via her JustGiving page.
Ebonie added: “I always like taking part in fundraising, especially when it’s such a good cause. My family supports the Hospice all year round; we play the lottery and take part in the raffles too. We also attend the Torchlight Procession every year to remember our loved ones. When we stand outside the Hospice and the band plays ‘Amazing Grace’ it is so touching. ”
To find out more about the Colour Dash or to register to take part, visit: https://stbarnabashospice.co.uk/colourdash/
“I never win anything, so was very surprised by this news”
The St Barnabas Hospice raffle runs twice each year, giving supporters the chance to win big whilst raising much-needed funds for hospice care in Lincolnshire. Last year, Mike Rose won an amazing £2,021 after purchasing just £10 worth of raffle tickets.
Mike said, “I kept getting an unknown number on my mobile which I ignored, but when I played back the voice message, I realised that something was up! I never win anything, so was very surprised by this news.
“St Barnabas Hospice is such a wonderful establishment. My best friend, Dave, was cared for by their nurses after he was sadly diagnosed with bowel cancer.
“I met Dave through his brother, and we formed a life-long friendship. He was as strong as an ox, able to drink the rest of us under the table and a good footballer. He was a great traveller, getting on well with everyone who crossed his path.
“When he was diagnosed with bowel cancer, he kept me informed with a series of heartbreakingly sad but courageous emails as his condition worsened. He will be missed greatly by all who knew him.
“St Barnabas were there to help during troubling times, and I’m so grateful to everyone who was there for Dave during his final days.
“One of Dave’s final wishes was for his old friends to gather in his memory. We did this last October in Lincoln and it was a great success, although bittersweet.”
This winter, St Barnabas Hospice is running a raffle where supporters could be in with the chance of winning an incredible £2,022. Help nurses bring heart to the homes that need them the most by purchasing tickets, just like Mike did, from www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/lottery/raffle.
“Lamorna’s heart will stand proudly in the garden, where we can sit and remember how bright her light shone.”
Aly Gratrick has dedicated an ironwork heart in memory of her beloved daughter, Lamorna, who sadly died age 27 following a series of complex health issues.
Aly said, “Lamorna loved life, loved to be outside and loved to be surrounded by people. Along with her sister Verity, they are the lights of my life and I am so proud of everything they have achieved.
“Lamorna was diagnosed as a brittle diabetic in 2008, and as a consequence of this, she had many health issues including epilepsy and fibromyalgia. She had well over 70 admissions to hospital and never complained, even when many resulted in staying in intensive care. She also spent birthdays, Christmas, New Year, Easter and many other holidays in hospital.
“I think Lamorna was definitely at her happiest in Lindos, which is where I got married and then renewed my vows ten years later. Our friends out there all loved here and watched her grow into a beautiful young woman.
“Sadly, they could all see her health deteriorating too, but they never judged her and only offered love and kindness. I am truly grateful for all their support. We would go to the church in the village during our holidays to light candles for loved ones, and now the locals donate to the church so that the bell rings for Lamorna and her name is read in prayers.
“Lamorna’s long battle ended on 16th June 2020, and that was when ours began. How do you ever get used to not having your best friend and daughter around?
“Our home now feels so empty without my beautiful girl, and the animals miss her dearly as she spent her days with them. No one should ever have to lose their child at any age.
“She died in the middle of the pandemic so we couldn’t give her the send off she deserved, but I feel very fortunate that I work as a funeral director and could conduct her funeral myself. I cared for her right to the end and was able to ensure she passed over safely. As the person who brought her into the world, I feel proud that I was able to do this last thing for her.
“We are in the process of making a special place in the garden for Lamorna, and I can’t wait for Verity to come back for a visit so we can get it finished. Lamorna’s heart will stand proudly in the garden, where we can sit and remember how bright her light shone.
“Because of my job, I see so many people who have been supported by St Barnabas Hospice, which is why I always try to support such a worthy charity whenever I can. In the past I have volunteered at the Hospice doing gardening and painting, as well as taking part in the Colour Dash and Light up a Life. The Forever in our Hearts appeal is such a beautiful way to remember loved ones, and I know Lamorna would approve of us remembering her in this way.
“My dedication reads: ‘Lamorna #Forever27, our precious daughter taken far too soon. We love and miss you every second of every day and our lives will never be the same again. Your smile would light a whole room and your heart was so big that you always saw the best in everyone. You battled every day for so long and if I could change places with you, I would in a heartbeat.”
Aly’s story highlights just how important the Forever in our Hearts appeal is for helping families remember loved ones in such a beautiful way. By donating for an ironwork heart, you will be directly helping the Hospice to support more people across Lincolnshire. Visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/foreverhearts to order yours today.
UPS Foundation gifted the Hospice a fantastic $10,000 grant to support people across Lincolnshire living with life-limiting and terminal illnesses
At St Barnabas Hospice, it costs around £12 million each year to keep our services running, supporting people across Lincolnshire living with life-limiting and terminal illnesses. We are lucky that some wonderful trusts and funders have supported our work over the years with a variety of grants.
Recently, the UPS Foundation gifted the Hospice a fantastic $10,000 grant after being nominated by their Transport Planner, Tom Parker. Tom nominated the Hospice after we cared for his grandad in 2020/21.
“Founded in 1951, The UPS Foundation leads UPS’s global citizenship efforts and philanthropy. We believe the best way to give back is to draw upon our collective strengths, linking philanthropic dollars with our logistics expertise, transportation assets, and the skills and passion of our people to create a shared value for our communities and people around the world.”
Tom said, “My Grandad Ken was a typical Yorkshire man; born and raised in Sheffield, opinionated, honest, likeable and respectable. He served as a police constable for 25 years, before retiring with an exemplary service award and moving to Skegness with his wife to enjoy the slower pace of life the seaside had to offer, and to be near to their daughter Debbie (my Mum) and the family.
“When Lyn, his wife of 55 years, was diagnosed with vascular dementia, Grandad looked after her at home for eight years before she moved into a care home. He had also struggled with COPD for a number of years before being diagnosed with lung cancer in January 2020.
“The world went into lockdown not long after that, so all his plans to enjoy the time he had left were put on hold. Throughout the year, he enjoyed the simpler things in life like walks along the seafront, feeding the ducks in the park and going out for lunch with family. When his local pub reopened, he was very grateful to meet up with friends for an hour each week.
“St Barnabas visited Ken throughout the year as his condition deteriorated. He became very unwell over Christmas 2020, but made sure that he soldiered on long enough to ensure that his close family could all say their goodbyes. He died peacefully at home in the arms of his daughter and granddaughter Lucy on 5th January 2021, age 76.
“The care St Barnabas provided was fantastic. They managed his symptoms with a syringe driver, offered psychological support to both my Grandad and the family and really helped him during a time when he was very scared of what the future had in store.
“I’m so glad that my nomination for St Barnabas to receive this money was accepted, as they have been affected financially by the pandemic and I want to help ensure that the vital work they do continues long into the future, for families in a similar situation”
If your company offer similar grants to charities, please speak to Julia Bowness by emailing here on [email protected] or 07423122504, who will be happy to help your company support our fantastic charity.
“Sam would say “love you Mum, in my heart” to me hundreds of times a day before he died, and that’s why the Forever in our Hearts appeal really spoke to me.”
Christine Newby has dedicated an ironwork heart in memory of her treasured son, Sam, who had a wonderful and fun-filled life before he sadly died in December 2021 from pancreatic cancer. She has chosen to share his story in the hope that it will encourage others to remember loved ones in such a beautiful way. 
Christine said, “Sam was born in Hong Kong in 1978 with Down’s Syndrome. After falling in love with him at the Home of Loving Faithfulness, my husband and I had the privilege of adopting him, moving back to the UK together four years later.
“When he was born, Sam had duodenal atresia which could have been fatal, but miraculously the doctors were able to keep him alive. The scar from his operation went from hip to hip and he would always refer to it as his tummy zip, pretending to undo it when he had eaten too much!
“My husband and I travelled a lot with work, so Sam had homes in Hong Kong, UK, Sultanate of Oman and Saudi Arabia, He also visited his sister in Australia on many occasions and was a proud uncle and great uncle.
“Sam had an enormous sense of humour and just loved to make you laugh with and at him. He told many jokes, but usually the punch line came at the beginning! Once he learned to speak there was no stopping him; as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning, he also opened his mouth.
“Sam would say “love you Mum, in my heart” to me hundreds of times a day before he died, and that’s why the Forever in our Hearts appeal really spoke to me. We intend to place our heart beside his grave in the churchyard.
“We still like to talk in the way that Sam would, and he had his own way of speaking that others sometimes couldn’t understand. We still say ‘bish bosh’ for dishwasher, ‘blips’ for slippers and ‘nuff nish bop’ for enough, finish, stop when Dad would tickle him.
“HimToo was a very important part of our family – a stuffed rhinoceros which Sam had from his third birthday. He had many repairs over the years – new paws, new horns, new tail – but he was always there beside Sam whatever he was doing. He got his name because Sam would always say “me bwing him too?” when we went anywhere.
“Sam was diagnosed with terminal cancer on December 7th after spending just two days in hospital. The doctors had found secondaries in his liver, bile duct and lymph nodes, so he was in terrible pain. He went downhill so fast and was moved to St Barnabas Hospice in Lincoln just ten days later.
“He died in the early hours of 20th December, which rocked our whole family. We are still feeling the shock even now.
“HimToo went with Sam to the Hospice and stayed with him right to the end. It seemed only right that HimToo joined Sam on his last adventure in the coffin, watching over him in his place of rest.
“All of the staff at St Barnabas were simply wonderful, asking if we needed anything and keeping an eye on all of us, not just Sam. The care they showed him was outstanding, and even though he arrived there on strong pain relief, the nurses still managed to get to know him a little.
“He passed so suddenly that we weren’t able to get to the Hospice in time, but we felt so grateful to the nurses when we got there because they had got him looking so comfortable, cuddling his favourite toy, HimToo. They had placed little dinosaurs around his head too – all so very caring. The nurses held onto us and it felt like they were our family in Australia who we were so dearly missing.”
Christine’s story highlights just how important the Forever in our Hearts appeal is for helping families remember loved ones in such a beautiful way. By donating for an ironwork heart, you will be directly helping the Hospice to support more patients just like Sam. Visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk/foreverhearts to order yours today.
