Category: Stories

Wendy Herridge, age 55 from Ruskington, has shared her story about how her life experiences drew her towards a volunteering role with St Barnabas.

Wendy joined St Barnabas as a Family Support Services volunteer in 2013, after retiring from her job in the Metropolitan Police Force and re-locating to Lincolnshire to be closer to family. She explained “the things which happened in my life definitely led me to St Barnabas.” Wendy’s mother sadly died from lung disease, and her sister recovered from cervical cancer. As well as this, Wendy herself was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2009, and thankfully recovered.

When talking about her cancer, Wendy explains that “it was such a traumatic experience, and has really given me a purpose to help ill people, as I can empathise with how they’re feeling.”

As part of Wendy’s role, she runs bereavement groups, 1 to 1 sessions and also attends friendship groups in the local area. In an average week, Wendy will dedicate three days to St Barnabas, and sees around four individual clients.

Wendy said: “I remember one particular man from my 1 to 1 sessions, whose wife had just died and he himself was also diagnosed with cancer. He’d experienced a difficult upbringing, which he wanted to come to terms with. I showed him a special letter writing technique so he could write letters to people in his past and present. It felt very rewarding knowing that when he died he was at peace with his demons.”

Both Wendy and her husband, Richard, volunteer for St Barnabas Hospice and love the flexibility and freedom they get.

Wendy said: “I would definitely recommend volunteering for St Barnabas, as they are so supportive and provide brilliant personal development. There is always the opportunity to learn more and take on additional responsibilities.

“Everyone has experienced the feeling of loss, whether it be a person or an object, so it is something we can all understand to a certain extent. I will certainly be continuing to volunteer for St Barnabas for as long as I am able.”

To find out more about volunteering with St Barnabas Hospice call 01522 518 221 or email volunteering@stbarnabashospice.co.uk

Amy Cooney, age 22 from Lincoln, has decided to share the reasons behind why she got involved with St Barnabas.

Amy joined St Barnabas as a Host at the Lincoln Day Therapy Centre in 2016, and works there every Monday morning greeting visitors and ensuring their needs are met. She explained “I was very close to my Great Aunt who died at the Inpatient Unit on Nettleham Road, and wanted to give something back to such a wonderful local charity.”

Currently, Amy is working towards her Master’s degree in Drama Therapy, which looks at ways of using drama techniques in a therapeutic environment. This means that as well as volunteering for St Barnabas and working in Business Support for Lincolnshire County Council, Amy also runs drama sessions for children with Down’s Syndrome.

Amy said “I would love to finish my Master’s degree and get a full time job with St Barnabas if the right role came up. As well as that, it would be great if I could find the time to learn hand massage as part of my volunteer role.

“The support I have received so far from St Barnabas has been overwhelming. They offer me the opportunity to learn new skills, I’m made to feel as much a part of the team as paid staff are, and everyone is so friendly.”

When asked about a special memory of her time at St Barnabas, Amy remembers helping the husband of a lady who had come into the Day Therapy Centre for the first time.

“I remember how uneasy he first felt with the situation, so I sat with him whilst his wife went into a session,” says Amy “We spoke a lot about the illness how St Barnabas could help him, and also made small talk about life in general. I really felt that I could relate to how he was feeling because of my Great Aunt’s death, and I know he left the building that day feeling much calmer.

“I think that volunteering often has a stigma attached to it that it’s just for older people, but I want more people to realise that all ages can have fun and make a real difference by giving some of their time.

“One thing I will say to younger people is that volunteering is the perfect way to add skills to your CV, and if you volunteer in a Hospice like St Barnabas, there are so many different areas you could go into. Some people might want patient-facing experience, whereas others might want to help at events or work in one of the shops.”

To find out more about volunteering with St Barnabas Hospice call 01522 518 221 or email volunteering@stbarnabashospice.co.uk

Julie Swift took the plunge to raise money for St Barnabas Hospice after they cared for her husband at home

A local woman whose husband died soon after he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of skin cancer has completed a parachute jump to boost funds for the charity who helped care for him in his final days.

Julie Swift’s husband Chris died on 30th July 2010 aged 45, only seven months after being diagnosed with melanoma, which spread to his bones and brain.

The father-of-two, who was affectionately known as “Swifty”, served as a retained firefighter in his home town of Wragby and is described by his wife as “a big character who was always there for people.”

Julie, 50, decided she wanted to raise money for St Barnabas Hospice to thank them for caring for her husband in their own home and allowing her family to stay together.

She said: “A skydive is something I have always wanted to do and it was a brilliant way for me to commemorate what should have been our 30th wedding anniversary. It was a thrilling and exhilarating experience and I know that Chris would have been proud of me.

“It was wonderful to be able to raise money for St Barnabas and give something back for the special care they had given to Chris and our family.”

She described how important it was for her husband to be cared for at at home and how their two sons, aged 14 and 16, were able to spend precious time with their dad.

Julie said: “St Barnabas really did make all the difference and with their support, Chris was able to remain at home, where he belonged and where he felt most comfortable. It was nice for the boys to be able to spend time with their dad without the restrictions of visiting times, it felt more natural somehow.

“Before St Barnabas started I had been looking after Chris on my own and I had started to feel quite isolated. It was a real relief when they started to visit and having their support and someone to talk to meant that I was better able to support Chris and our sons.”

Julie has raised over £2,700 from her skydive and other fundraising initiatives such as a cake sale, raffle and taking part in the charity’s upcoming Colour Dash.

The jump took place on 4th September 2016 at Hibaldstow Airfield in North Lincolnshire where she jumped from 15,000 feet.

Sign-up to a St Barnabas skydive and help to fund the specialist end of life care the charity delivers across Lincolnshire:

• The Big Birthday Skydive – 11th June at Hibaldstow Airfield

• Sunday 9th July – Langar Airfield

• Sunday 10th September – Hibaldstow Airfield

For more information or to sign up to a skydive please contact Harriet Hickin on 01522 540 300 or email harriet.hickin@stbarnabashospice.co.uk

Alternatively sign-up at www.StBarnabasHospice.co.uk

A hospice nurse has gone “above and beyond the call of duty” to give a patient receiving care at St Barnabas Hospice the “best day of his life”

Andrew Horton was left lost for words when he received the call that he and his family would be having a behind the scenes tour of RAF Coningsby – something that Andrew had dreamt of since childhood.

Avid aeroplane fan Andrew, who lives in Martin in Lincolnshire, has been attending St Barnabas Day Therapy Centre in Lincoln for the past 14 months.

Diagnosed with end stage renal failure at the age of 22, Andrew learned that he will need dialysis indefinitely or until he is strong enough to undergo a kidney transplant. A recently discovered heart condition means that the surgery has been delayed, but Andrew is hopeful that one day he will be able to get his new kidney.

“I am just waiting and hoping that one day my heart will be strong enough to allow me to have the transplant and that I will be able to get some normality back to my life,” says Andrew. “Life on dialysis has had a far greater impact on my life then I ever could have imagined.

“It touches every aspect of your life from preventing you from eating the foods you enjoy to taking part in the sports you once loved. Life becomes about hospital appointments, treatments and medications and your days become long and drawn out. It’s hard to remain positive and I am not ashamed to admit that I was becoming depressed.

“The nurses at St Barnabas understood how I was feeling and they went above and beyond their call of duty to organise a once in a lifetime visit to RAF Coningsby.”

After hearing about Andrew’s love of planes, hospice staff wanted to help him fulfil his ambitions and contacted the Willow Foundation, a national charity working with seriously ill young adults to fulfil uplifting and unforgettable special days.

Andrew said: “I couldn’t believe it when I got the call to say the day had been arranged, I couldn’t stop smiling. Best of all, it was lovely to have something to look forward to and for the first time in a long time, hospital visits weren’t the dominating factor in my life.

“The day was all I could have hoped for and more and it was lovely to be able to share the experience with my foster Dad and brothers. We all dressed smartly in our suits and we were treated to a tour of the Lancaster Lounge, Battle of Britain Hangar and got to ride in the flight simulator.

“The absolute highlight has to be the moment I was allowed to sit in a working Lancaster and a Typhoon, it was like a dream come true. The experience was one of the best days of my life and something that my family and I will always cherish.”

St Barnabas is the principle provider of end-of-life care across the county and provides day therapy five days a week from its base in Lincoln.

Over 1,900 patients benefited from the various day therapy sessions last year, which are free of charge and funded wholly through charitable donations to St Barnabas.

Sarah Fitter, Higher Lever Staff Nurse for St Barnabas Hospice, said:

“After taking the time to get to get to know Andrew I soon realised that he was feeling fed-up with the focus of his life being around hospital visits and that this was starting to have a real impact on his wellbeing.

“We started to focus on what goals he may have and looked at his hobbies and interests and it was then that his love of aeroplanes became apparent.

“I feel quite humbled to have played a part in helping Andrew and his family to experience this unforgettable day which has quite clearly had a positive impact on them all. At St Barnabas we are blessed with time to really find out what a person needs in order to gain an improved quality of life or sense of wellbeing and purpose.”

Andrew will continue to access St Barnabas Day Therapy services to manage his symptoms as and when the support is needed.

Andrew adds: “The wonderful thing about the Hospice is it provides an oasis of calm and relaxation and they help you to live as fully as you are able. They looked after me as a whole person and didn’t just treat the medical side of things.

“They took the time to understand what was important to me and the special visit to RAF Coningsby had a profound effect on my overall wellbeing. It has had a more far reaching effect than any medical intervention ever has.”

Day therapy can help people with a range of issues which they may be having difficulty with, such as physical, emotional, social, spiritual and psychological problems. The aim of attending the range of day therapy activities is to help people manage their symptoms, help them gain more confidence at home by assessing their personal needs, and to help improve the quality of their lives.

Anyone aged 18 and above can refer themselves to any or all of the different services provided, without the need for a doctor’s letter. For any further information on how St Barnabas’ care services can be accessed in your area please call 01522 511566 or visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk

A hospice patient living with a rare progressive disease has given her praise to St Barnabas in Louth, with whom she credits being her saviour.

Lynn Peace was just 18 years old when she began to notice symptoms of what was eventually diagnosed as Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia.

The disease causes stiffness and contraction in the lower limbs, as a result of damage or dysfunction of the nerves.

Lynn, 37, from Mumby explained how she didn’t think the hospice would be able to help someone with her condition but how their support became invaluable.

Lynn said: “Before I came to St Barnabas more than 12 months ago I lived in a world that felt very isolated and I was incredibly low. St Barnabas has been my lifeline and I now have a very different outlook on life. I am able to see the good once again.

“The nurses there are very understanding and they really take the time to listen to you and have helped to manage my pain and symptoms. With their guidance, my confidence has grown and for the first time I am able to express how I truly feel.

“Attending Day Therapy has also opened up opportunities to meet people in a similar situation to my own, which has been a great relief. We are able to share our experiences and it is a great comfort to realise you are not on your own.”

The flagship day hospice, run by Lincolnshire’s St Barnabas Hospice, from the building leased to them by Louth & District Hospice has propelled palliative care into a new era by providing and developing a whole range of care services for the local community from the Grimsby Road site.

Under the leadership of St Barnabas Hospice the charity has brought an unprecedented amount of expertise under one roof to support thousands of people with life-limiting illnesses and their families.

Lynn visits St Barnabas twice a week and during her time there she has benefited from physiotherapy, tai chi and acupuncture.

Lynn said: “The varying therapies I have accessed have had a lasting and positive effect on my physical and mental wellbeing. The acupuncture has been particularly helpful at ridding me of the pain I was experiencing in my back. Prior to this therapy I had been in pain all day, every day.

“St Barnabas also takes the time to look after the whole person and not just concentrate on the medical side of things. I took part in Look Good, Feel Better where I had a professional make over. It felt nice to be pampered and that is the great thing about St Barnabas, they recognise the importance of a person’s overall wellbeing.

“The time I have spent with St Barnabas Hospice stands out as nothing short of outstanding when compared to any other care I have received.”

With an ever ageing population people are living longer with deteriorating health caused by many different conditions such as; heart failure, respiratory and neurological disease, dementia and cancer.

The charity works in partnership with other organisations to help patients live better, for longer, regardless of their diagnosis.

St Barnabas, the principal provider of end-of-life care across the locality, now provides day therapy four days every week from its locality base at the hospice.

Around 435 patients benefited from various day therapy sessions last year, which are free of charge and funded wholly through charitable donations to St Barnabas.

Lynn adds: “Hospice care has been an eye opener and really is more than I ever could have imagined. At St Barnabas I feel like I am part of a family and I even think of it as my second home. It is a beautiful building with glorious gardens that I look forward to visiting each and every week.”

Day therapy can help people with a range of issues which they may be having difficulty with, such as physical, emotional, social, spiritual and psychological problems. The aim of attending the range of day therapy activities is to help people manage their symptoms, help them gain more confidence at home by assessing their personal needs, and to help improve the quality of their lives.

St Barnabas also provides pre and post bereavement counselling through its Family Support Service, with a drop-in bereavement group meeting every Thursday afternoon at Louth Hospice.

Anyone aged 18 and above can refer themselves to any or all of the different services provided, without the need for a doctor’s letter. For any further information on how St Barnabas’ care services can be accessed in your area please call 01522 511 566 or visit www.stbarnabashospice.co.uk.

Michael Poole, 69, from Lincoln has end stage kidney and heart failure and has written a collection of poems providing an honest and intimate insight into life as he faces the end.

First diagnosed in 1992, Michael has undergone three heart bypass operations before being referred to St Barnabas Hospice for their Day Therapy services eight years ago.

Michael said: “I was a little dubious at first as to how the hospice could help me because I thought they only cared for people with cancer. I couldn’t have been more wrong and I was pleasantly surprised to discover all the ways they were able to support me and my condition.

“St Barnabas has had a real and lasting impact on my overall wellbeing; they have taught me how to live as fully as possible with my condition. I have been given access to specialist physiotherapy, arts and crafts classes and joined the creative writing group.

“It was the art and creative writing group where I began to write poetry and I discovered that I could explore my feelings and express myself fully, in a way I was never able to do face to face. I have always written about what I know and this collection is the joys and struggle of my illness.”

Michael has written 51 poems to be collated in a poetry book with all proceeds set to go to St Barnabas Hospice.

Michael adds: “I hope that people in a similar situation to my own may be able to find some comfort in my words. Every poem has been written from the heart, I have laid myself bare in this book.

“There are poems about my health but also about the many nursing staff and volunteers I have met, they have all played an integral role in my life.”

Over the past eight years, Michael has had four poetry books published and raised over £1,000 for the hospice.

Michael concludes: “Without St Barnabas I wouldn’t be going out or doing much at all, they have given me real purpose and I have made some lifelong friends. And, I find real comfort in knowing that they will be there to support my wife when I am gone.

“I hope that my book will be able to raise some much needed funds for St Barnabas Hospice so that I can repay them for all they have done and will do for me and my family.”

The poetry book is priced at £3.50 and can be purchased from St Barnabas Hospice bookshops in Ruskington, Louth and The Forum in Lincoln.

Alternatively, contact the Fundraising department on 01522 540 300 or email fundraising@stbarnabashospice.co.uk

The son of a woman who died from lung cancer is preparing to cycle from Land’s End to John O’Groats in memory of his mum

Adam Lilley, 29, wants to raise at least £2,000 for St Barnabas Lincolnshire Hospice after they cared for his mum in her final days.

Jean Godber died on 19th November 2014 at the six-bedded community hospice at Grantham and District Hospital, aged 71.

Adam said: “It was a massive shock for us all when Mum was first diagnosed with lung cancer in 2012. She handled it all with such grace and had a fantastic attitude; she was determined to battle the cancer head on.

“And for a while this seemed to be working as the chemotherapy and radiotherapy drove the cancer away. “

After a year in remission, Jean began to feel unwell and in June 2014 she was told the cancer had returned and this time, it had spread into her back.

Adam recalls: “Over the summer her health became very unsettled and she spent a lot of time in and out of hospital. Admirably, she took it all in her stride and remained in good spirits, ensuring that she always had a smile for everyone that visited.”

In early November, Jean was admitted into the Hospice in the Hospital after receiving the sad news that the cancer was terminal.

Adam said: “It was such a heart breaking time for us all and so difficult watching her deteriorate but the homely feel of the hospice and the caring nature of the staff helped to make this time easier.

“I was overwhelmed at how well Mum was looked after and the staff always ensured that she was comfortable, nothing was ever too much trouble.”

After almost two weeks in the care of St Barnabas, Jean Godber died at the age of 71.

Adam said: “I was determined to do something to give something back to the hospice after they helped my mum through her final weeks. I have so much admiration for the staff that care for patients like my mum and I am so grateful for everything they did for her.”

Adam and a group of friends will start the 900-mile bike ride on 18th July, cycling from Land’s End to John O’Groats.

Adam said: “Training for the bike ride is quite a challenge and it is becoming ever more intense as the date draws closer. I am really looking forward to the experience even though I know there will be difficult moments.

“I think my mum would be really proud and knowing that this would have made her smile is what will keep me going.”

The money Adam and his friends raise will go towards the care and support of patients and their families who are living with a life-limiting illness in Lincolnshire.

The unit in Grantham and District Hospital is the first of its kind in the county and has cared for more than 250 patients since it opened in September 2014.

Adam concludes: “The loss of my mum has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I am still adapting to life without her. This bike ride is a wonderful opportunity for me to remember my mum and I know that wherever she is, she’ll be smiling down on me.”

Cathy Andrews, 61, from Hackthorn in Lincolnshire worked as an Assistant Cook for St Barnabas Lincolnshire Hospice when she was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

After a course of treatment and a failed colostomy Cathy received the most devastating news of all, the cancer was terminal and she had just two years to live.

Cathy said: “From the very beginning I had an instinctive feeling that something just wasn’t right and I suspected cancer all along. I am no stranger to the disease, my father, mother and husband all died from cancer and working at the hospice has opened my eyes even wider.

“It still doesn’t make the news easier to hear, but I was determined to live each day to the full and to spend as much time as possible with the people I love. It was then that I began to think about early retirement but, I was worried about how I would cope financially.

“Living with a terminal diagnosis is stressful enough without the additional burden of money worries. But with the help of the Welfare Benefits team at St Barnabas that worry was taken away.

“Their wealth of knowledge about the complexities of the benefits system was astounding and they were able to help me fill out the forms and make the necessary phone calls on my behalf.”

With the help of the team at St Barnabas it wasn’t long before Cathy began to receive her weekly payments.

“The wonderful thing about the Welfare Benefits team is that they kept in regular contact and always followed through with their promises. If they said they would call you back at a certain time, they actually did. I know it sounds small but reliability is really important at a time when everything around you seems uncertain.

“Their continued support also meant that they were able to identify that the benefits I was receiving were incorrect and they were able to rectify this on my behalf. The money they were able to secure has made a real difference to my life; it is the difference between existing and really living.

“It has given me the freedom to be able to visit my children and grandchildren without the worry of how I will pay for it.”

Cathy concludes: “I can’t thank the team at St Barnabas enough for all their care and support. Their reassurance that they will help me through this challenging time made a real difference to me and my life. It is because of them that I am getting to spend what time I have left with the people who matter the most.”

Many people do not receive payments they are entitled to because they believe that their income or savings are too high. However, a lot of benefits are not means tested and can be paid regardless of financial circumstances.

For information and advice call the Welfare Benefits team on: 01476 513 544

A personal account of how one girl is learning to live with the grief of losing her beloved Nan.

It was the 9th of July at around 1am. That was it, the call I had been expecting for a while. The phone call to say the most beautiful, kind and bravest lady in my life had passed away.

I couldn’t sleep that night anyway. The evening before with all my family there at my parents’ house I took my Nan’s hand and kissed her forehead. That’s when I did my last ‘goodnight I love you’. I was a carer and I recognised the signs. I knew she didn’t have long. Earlier that day all the grandchildren sat upstairs with Nan, not much was said but tears flowed and hands were held, shoulders were cried on and hugs given.

It had been one hell of a year, from the day we heard the dreaded ‘C word’ we knew things were never going to be easy or the same again – Nan had been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer.

After months in and out of hospital trying everything we could to make things comfortable, this brave lady decided enough was enough and she was going to stop chemotherapy and treatment. The treatment made her tired and drained; she didn’t feel well at all. It was her choice and we all supported her decision.

Nan was always a bubbly happy lady who loved life. She never complained about anything, well, apart from when the chippy forgot to put scrumps on her chips! She was always there for other people. Nan used to watch the soaps and make us all laugh because half the time she would watch them with her eyes shut – then deny being asleep! Bless her heart. I’d do anything to glance over at the sofa and see her snoring to Corrie. It’s the little things that you remember.

Nan was nursed at home with the help from district nurses, carers and us – her family. We were there twenty four seven. She became poorly very quickly towards the end. We knew it was coming, but no matter how many times I had seen it at work you never know how hard it is until you’re in that boat and it’s hard, extremely hard.

It was then that Nan decided she wanted to go into St Barnabas Lincolnshire Hospice inpatient unit on Nettleham Road in Lincoln.

I really didn’t know what to expect when I walked in there for the first time, but it was so fresh and clean and the staff were brilliant. They looked after Nan so well and not only that, they looked after all of us too. Even little things like making us a brew and taking the time to talk to us.

I will always remember the lovely garden and how on one sunny day I went out there to have some time alone. Everything just paused; it was like everything outside the ground of that hospice wasn’t there. It gave me a lot of time to think.

I cried for a while then walked in and sat with Nan and this ginger cat came in to visit and jumped on the bed. Nan loved cats. It was like a little home from home, the people were friendly and the surroundings were beautiful. It was lovely to know Nan was being looked after there.

Nan really appreciated what the staff did there for her and so did we, but after a while she decided she wanted to come home. I would go over and visit her everyday and just sit there talking to Nan. She wasn’t alone; all the family visited and tried to remain strong.

I remember getting the bus home one day and I instinctively knew something wasn’t right. When I got home Mum and Dad were both upstairs. One either side of Nan, holding her hand. As soon as I walked in I tried to say ‘morning Nan’ but just burst into tears. I went to the spare room and took five minutes to have a good old cry and pull myself together. I knew from the atmosphere and from Nan’s face it was nearly time.

We rang around the family who came to be by her side. We took it in turns to go upstairs to see Nan and to spend some time talking to her; she tried to speak back but didn’t make much sense. From working in care I had learnt that hearing is one of the last senses a person loses so we talked and talked knowing Nan would be listening.

My boyfriend came to pick me up, I was shattered and emotional and there was nothing more I could do. I went upstairs – I had a feeling it would be the last time. I stood over Nan, took her hand, kissed her forehead and said “goodnight Nan, it’s OK to go to sleep now”. I stood there for a while then kissed her goodbye again.

That was it, the last time. I had a feeling it was but it’s still hard leaving. That night I got the call.

I just sat up all night watching each hour pass and cried a lot. I was used to that by now, nearly every night I cried myself to sleep. Trying not to make a sound so I didn’t wake my partner up, the feeling of being alone and miserable. My cousin and her partner picked me up the next day and we went back home to my parent’s house.

The bed was empty, the window open, the chairs we had sat in the day before were empty. So far that was the worst day of my life – it had finally come to an end. In a way I was relieved, I didn’t want Nan to be gone, but she wasn’t suffering anymore, she was free. Free to be with Gramps.

I remember when I was young and my Granddad died. My Aunt said look up at the sky and the brightest star up there will be him.

I remember not long before that I had been away camping with my boyfriend and friends. We lay on the rocks down at the beach when one friend said: “just think we could be the only ones on this beach for miles, no one else just us” and for a while the world stopped. It was so peaceful.

We later looked up at the stars and I said to my friend, “I’m worried because when Granddad died they said to look for the brightest star, what am I going to do once Nan has gone do I look for two?”

He said: “no, the brightest star will be them both”. It sounds silly having conversations like that but it helped; I’ll never forget that random conversation on the beach.

I went outside the night Nan passed away and looked up at the stars and just smiled. It was a weird feeling, I felt guilty – guilty that I smiled. Then I thought about it, it was finally over. No more suffering for Nan and she would be up there with Granddad telling him all about us and watching Mrs Brown’s Boys with a cuppa.

The funeral was arranged and the songs chosen. Every time I hear White Flag by Dido or Bryan Adams’ Everything I do, I well up. But now they’re Nans songs, for a beautiful lady and it reminds me how strong she was.

It was only about a month later I realised I had grieved for Nan whilst she was still with us. She wouldn’t want to see me grumpy and emotional all the time, so with the help of loved ones and friends I pulled myself together. I started a new job and started planning things to do. I learnt a lot from the past year – it doesn’t matter how alone you feel or how much you want to shout and cry you still have people around you that care.

It may not feel like it but its true – everything thrown at you in life is a test and no matter how many times you cry you get on with things. I still have my odd days where I’ll just randomly sit and have a cry but that’s OK because I know they’re safe up there and I know I’m loved and I thank everyone that helped me.

A great grandmother who died from ovarian cancer will be among hundreds who will be remembered at this years Light Up a Life celebrations hosted by St Barnabas Lincolnshire Hospice.

Jo Love, 57, will dedicate a light on the Tree of Life to her Mum Jean DaSilva, 77, during the Lincoln celebration which will see hundreds of people take part in a torchlight procession on Tuesday 25th November.

Jo said: “In 2006 Mum was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer, she had already beaten the disease back in 1998, and the fact it had returned made it all the harder to accept.

“Mum managed quite well at first but by Christmas 2008 she had become very unwell and was taken into hospital. Despite the circumstances we all tried to remain hopeful that she would return home with help from a care package.

“However it soon became apparent that this wasn’t going to happen. She was continuing to deteriorate and it was suggested that she move to the hospice where she would receive dedicated care.

“It was like falling into a black hole. I heard the word hospice and I was frightened, really frightened. In my mind the hospice was a dark place where people went to die.”

Despite her fears Jo agreed and Jean was transferred to the specialist unit. What waited behind the hospice doors couldn’t have been more of a surprise.

Jo added: “The hospice was nothing like I had imagined. We were immediately put at ease by the warm and welcoming staff and Mum was given a lovely room that overlooked the garden. I felt safe here and knew that Mum was in the right place.

“Up until this point I had been living in denial about Mum’s condition and it was the staff who helped to prepare me for the fact the she only had a short time left to live. They supported me every step of the way as I vowed to stay by her side for every second she had left. The hospice became my home.

“The nurses were so kind and understanding, they became my friends, I felt I could talk to them about anything. Even when I found myself at my lowest ebb and I had to go to a separate room and just sob they picked me up again so that I was strong enough to carry on.”

Jean DaSilva died on 15th February 2008 after spending three weeks in the hospice on Nettleham Road in Lincoln.

“I knew the night before she died that she didn’t have long left. I sat awake with her all night and then was joined by the rest of the family the following morning. We were together as a family and as I held her in my arms she quietly slipped away.

“This was the end of such an awful time but I wasn’t quite ready to let go yet. The nurses were so sensitive to how I was feeling and they gave me some time alone with Mum, to hold her hand and say a final goodbye.”

Jo began attending the Lincoln Light Up a Life celebrations the Christmas after Jean had died. The annual event sees hundreds gather for hymns, carols and readings before a torchlight procession to Lincoln Cathedral for the switching on of the Tree of Life lights.

Jo said: “Light Up a Life has become such an important date in the calendar for me, nothing could keep me away. It’s such an incredibly moving event, everyone is there to remember someone special and there is real comfort in knowing you are not alone in the sadness you feel.

“Last year the procession stopped outside the hospice and we stood and sang carols to the patients who wrapped up warm and came out with the nurses. There was something very special about that moment; it simply took my breath away.

“It is truly awe inspiring to witness a sea of torchlight as far as the eye can see. Best of all I know my Mum would have loved the whole thing. She absolutely adored Christmas and in a way I feel a real closeness to Mum at the event. It’s just so her. I do it for her.”

Last year over 1,200 people turned out for the Light Up a Life celebrations and raised £35,000 for St Barnabas Lincolnshire Hospice.

Jo concludes: “It’s a sad time for anyone if you find yourself needing hospice care, but the hospice provides comfort and guidance through that sad time. It’s not a dark place at all and the time I spent there with Mum was so special.

“They didn’t treat her like she was just another patient, they treated her like the lady she was, and they treated her like she was special. I know that if I ever found myself in the position where I needed to use hospice services I wouldn’t be frightened at all.”

Light Up a Life celebrations are held across Lincolnshire with the flaming torchlight procession taking place in Lincoln.