When I was diagnosed with a rare lung condition in my early fifties, I was told I might have just five years left – at best. Eleven years later and with a new set of lungs, I’m still here. But without St Barnabas, I think it could have been a very different story.
Two years after my diagnosis, I was in a terrible place, struggling with low mood. Despite trying to find help through the usual channels, I wasn’t getting anywhere. Then, at a support group meeting, someone mentioned I could self-refer to St Barnabas.
That was a huge turning point for me. The hospice offered so much – tai chi, relaxation classes, wellness, sessions to help with sleep, even singing classes! And it wasn’t just for me, my wife, Maxine, was welcome too.
Sue, my hospice nurse, was absolutely fabulous. From the start, she made sure Maxine was fully involved – it was the first time since my diagnosis that someone acknowledged Maxine as part of my journey. She listened to us both and took the time to really get to know us individually and as a couple.
I’m not sure I would have made it to the transplant stage if it weren’t for Sue’s support. And there’s a good chance Maxine and I wouldn’t have made it either because there was such emotional strain on our relationship. But Sue relieved that pressure. She just knew what we both needed, even when we didn’t.
That’s one of the most important things the hospice gives you – time to become a couple again, rather than patient and carer.
Sue being there for us after my transplant too was such a relief. Often, it was the small things, like spotting subtle changes in me and new habits that might have gone unnoticed. But because she knew me so well, she recognised the signs that said I needed help and made sure I got it. Sue knew when I was expecting too much of myself too, and always told me! And I’d listen, because I trusted her implicitly.
Getting in touch with St Barnabas was the best thing I did during my diagnosis and treatment journey. Everyone is just so friendly. From the moment we walked through the door, we felt part of a very special community.
Sue and the team were always there and I can’t thank them enough for what they did for us both. Their help was invaluable. I don’t think people realise just what the hospice does – not only in those final days but long before that, helping people live well for as long as possible.
When I was doing triathlons, I thought I was super fit. Like many people, I never expected I’d need a hospice. That’s why I say don’t ever think it’s not going to happen to you. And it’s why the hospice’s care is incredibly important – it’s there for everyone.
We must keep it going, and so I’ve left a gift in my Will to St Barnabas. We all need to think of others, and it’s important that this amazing, brilliant, fantastic place is there forever.
Thank you to Ron, and all our legators. Your legacy will continue through the care you’ll make possible in years to come.
To find out more about leaving A Gift For Generations, please visit: Make a Will with St Barnabas Hospice