Ron was diagnosed with a rare lung condition in 2014. And since the day we were told he likely had just three to five years left without a double lung transplant, we’ve been on a rollercoaster journey. And complications during surgery meant it didn’t stop despite Ron receiving two new lungs.
Post-transplant, Ron was struggling to come to terms with what had happened. And he was so fragile physically and mentally. I was exhausted from the trauma of the operation and his ongoing care, and still trying to be calm and patient despite us both coping with so much. I wasn’t in a good place.
That’s when Ron got in touch with St Barnabas again – we’ve always felt like part of the hospice since they supported us a couple of years after Ron’s diagnosis.
I’m not sure where we’d be now if it weren’t for the hospice. Sue, Ron’s nurse, saved him from severe depression. And she saved our marriage too. When everyone around us could only see the amazing gift Ron had been given, Sue saw the reality of what we were still living through.
Ron’s transplant was traumatic to say the least – I nearly lost him ten times. But I thought I had to just get on with it. So I kept going, kept pushing through. One of the most important things Sue did for me was to help me stop, to find space and get support to process it all.
Counselling, tai chi, relaxation and wellness classes – it was all there for me as well as Ron. And with the hospice’s help, I learnt to cope, to care for Ron better and to accept that life wasn’t going to be what we imagined. Of course, Ron got help too. And that made things easier for me, especially when the medication and depression changed his mood.
Knowing I’ll likely have to live through it all again one day – planning for the end, saying goodbye – is soul-destroying. But I know St Barnabas will be there for me, and I won’t have to go through it alone.
Everyone there understands. They know when to stand back, when to offer comfort, and when to be there to help you stay strong. They recognise what you need even if you don’t see it yourself, and this has been one of the most valuable things for me. When the time comes, I know I’ll be stronger with their help.
Ron and I realise just how critical the hospice has been, and still is, to our lives. St Barnabas not being there would take away my safety net. So while we both do what we can to support it now, we’re also showing how much we appreciate what Sue and the team have done for us by leaving a gift in both our Wills.
None of us knows what we’ll need in the future, but there’s a high chance we’ll all have something to do with a hospice at some stage in our lives. And I hope that by remembering St Barnabas in our Wills, someone years from now will be able to enjoy a better quality of life, just as we are, no matter how long they have left.
Thank you to Maxine, and all our legators. Your legacy will continue through the care you’ll make possible in years to come.
To find out more about leaving A Gift For Generations, please visit: Make a Will with St Barnabas Hospice