Paula and Tom’s Story

16th May 2019

“The care they gave my husband Tom and me was incredible. St Barnabas will be a part of my life forever.”


My Tom was strong, physically and mentally. In his late seventies, he was still down the gym three days a week! Bu the cancer he got from asbestos exposure robbed him of all that. By the end, he was subdued, frightened, quiet and scared.

I’d looked after him at home for most of that year – but by late October his pain was so great we had to come to the Hospice. They welcomed us as the door and we could feel the calmness, the serenity and the brightness of the ward which made it feel homely.

Our lovely nurse Emma took my hand and said “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure he’s OK.”

They found me a room, which gave us six days we had there together. I sat with him every day and when Tom was unsettled during the night they’d come and get me. On the last day they found a room so I could stay with Tom the whole time. He needed a huge cocktail of drugs, given to him through a syringe driver – I know Sue is asking people for help to buy more of these. This was a life saver for Tom.

His days at St Barnabas were peaceful and calm. When he passed, October 31st last year (three days after our wedding anniversary), I was there with him, holding his hand.

After Tom passed, I was distraught. But even after Tom’s death, the Hospice was there for me. Through their bereavement services, they held my hand, supporting me whilst i explored my feelings, in a safe space. The Hospice helped me every step of the way – from the minute me and Tom entered the Hospice, to this very day. They are now my extended family, and I am thankful for them all.

I hope everyone in the community realises how privileged and honoured we are to have Sue, her nursing team and the consultants to look after us on our journey, as well as the the counsellors that provide bereavement support – and will join me in supporting her appeal.

Paula Dean.

To find out what’s on Sue’s Wish List;

Sue’s Wish List

Fundraise for us

Support your local Hospice by taking part in one of our pre-organised challenges, or take on your own! You will receive support along every step of the way!

Learn more about Fundraising


Make friends, use your know how, make a difference. We are grateful to the hundreds of people who give their time each week.

Register your interest