“Hello, my name is Jayne and I took part in the Colour Dash to raise money for St Barnabas Hospice in memory of two people. Firstly Nigel – my partner, my lover and soulmate; my husband who died in January 2017. His mum also died shortly after him, in the same room at the Hospice as him which felt very meaningful.”
“Everything made Nigel special; his smile, his eyes. He found a tiny pea-sized lump in his groin and went to see a consultant. In that first meeting, the consultant said, “this cancer is going to kill you.” I saw his face and heard my daughter, and I felt time stop, and my heart stop. It was devastating.
“We were put in touch with St Barnabas and he went to the Day Therapy Centre where he had reiki and art therapy. It really relaxed him and was such a lovely place to go. I felt so grateful as it gave me a break from being his full-time carer too.
“The tumour grew rapidly and eventually he ended up at Lincoln Hospital. I knew he was getting close to death and I begged the hospital staff to help me get him to the Hospice. I knew in my heart that was where he needed to be.
“The day the consultant came to tell me they were moving him to the Hospice was like I had won the lottery. As we walked in, one of the nurses took me and sat me down with a cup of tea whilst they made Nigel comfortable. She sat and cared for me, and for that I am so grateful.
“When the end was near for Nige, the nurses knew and there was absolutely no sense of panic. They made sure he was as pain free and comfortable as possible. As his breaths became gradually shallower, I began to sing to him, and then he just left. I remember dropping to my knees at that point and the nurses held me and rocked me.
“Nigel had a beautiful death and I feel so grateful that I was able to be with him and witness his transition. Everyone at the Hospice gave so much to my family.
“Later that year, I signed up to take part in the Colour Dash with our children, my sister-in-law and some friends. We all had t-shirts made with Nigel’s face on and the words ‘be more Nige’ across the front.
“The atmosphere was just brilliant, and it was great to see so many families and groups of people all running together in memory of loved ones.
“What an experience when we set off and got covered in coloured paint powder at every kilometre! It was a great opportunity to just get messy, have a laugh and just be colourful. There was a real buzz in the air and such a sense of togetherness.
“Going through the finish, my heart was truly pounding, the tears from my eyes falling freely. The splashes of colour painted rainbows of joy and pride, not only for a love lost, but also for every single missed soul on that most incredible of shared days.”
Colour Dash returns after a 2 year hiatus on 14th May. Get involved, get active and join the 5km rainbow fun run for hospice care, to celebrate St Barnabas’ 40th Anniversary