Before St Barnabas, Richard’s pain was unbearable. And the only respite he got was with powerful pain medication. But that meant he wasn’t with it for much of the time. It was so upsetting to see him in such pain and then in less pain, but not himself.
Emotionally, it was incredibly difficult. Physically, it was starting to take its toll too. Because Richard needed help moving around, everyday things like getting him to the bathroom were becoming impossible. And I wasn’t managing very well.
Still, when a nurse told us there was a place for him at the hospice if we wanted it, I didn’t think we were at that stage yet. We weren’t ready for end-of-life care.
Then she explained how the hospice team are expert at managing pain, and I didn’t need any more convincing. I drove Richard to the hospice that afternoon. And thank goodness I did.
The morning after arriving at St Barnabas, and for the first time in weeks, Richard was alert, calm and comfortable. He’d not eaten properly for days, and he’d finally had some food. He was even sitting up, having a laugh with the nurses!
For the entire five weeks Richard was in the hospice, the nurses couldn’t do enough for him. They’d sit and chat whenever he wanted. And he loved telling them about the places we’d been – showing them the photo albums I’d brought in for him to reminisce.
The team are amazing, and so accommodating. They made visiting so easy – friends could pop in whenever they wanted, and I spent every day with Richard, even taking our dog along to visit.
Still, it was reassuring to know he had other company too. Because there were days I found harder than others, and I’d just sit quietly with him. On those days, the nurses would always make time for a chat with me if I wanted to talk. And I’d leave feeling that bit better.
The relationship Richard struck with the staff meant a lot to both of us. And unbeknown to me, Richard asked them all to sign his favourite grumpy old man t-shirt! It was incredibly emotional discovering it on Christmas Day when I collected his things. Everyone had taken the time to write on it, and it was covered in the most wonderful messages. While I still find it hard to look at, it’s something I’ll always treasure.
We met the warmest and most caring people at the hospice, who treated us like family. The care St Barnabas gives should be the gold standard for end-of-life care everywhere.
St Barnabas is vital to our community – a safety net for us all. Yet it’s only through the kindness of local people that it can carry on. I feel happy knowing that Richard and I are doing some good with our money.
Thank you to Gill, and all our legators. Your legacy will continue through the care you’ll make possible in years to come.
To find out more about leaving A Gift For Generations, please visit: Make a Will with St Barnabas Hospice